How long did it take you from your wedding date to change your name? Is my SIL odd?
I got married on a Sunday, and by Monday afternoon everything was taken care of, license, social security, bank accounts, credit cards, right down to the gas and power and cable bills. I consider it an honor to take my husbands name!! and could not do it fast enough
How long did it take you from your wedding date to change your name? Is my SIL odd?
She might be trying to keep her last name or she wants to wait until she is good and ready!!!
Not changing her name doesn%26#039;t mean there is a problem but if it bothers your brother then they do need to work it out. It isn%26#039;t really your place to worry about that though. What is your problem is that you don%26#039;t like the way she is treating you. You are hurt because you don%26#039;t feel like she likes you. Sounds like you are mixing up what is really bothering you by trying to say you are worried about your brother. I%26#039;m not saying that you aren%26#039;t and you may be right that she isn%26#039;t changing her name because she has some kind of commitment issue but that isn%26#039;t the problem here. The problem is that you are unhappy with the relationship you and she have so talk to her about that. Let her know that you feel slighted and try to work with her to develop a relationship between the two of you that works for you both. But don%26#039;t expect much from her and follow your instincts not to pressure your brother. I%26#039;m not saying don%26#039;t say anything about it but express it and then try to let it go. If this does fall apart he is going to need a close loving family not a group of people saying I told you so.
omg do you sound like my fiance%26#039;s family and this is why i didn%26#039;t want to change my name to his, you are being WAY too much in his business, why does it make her less committed? its a name it means nothing! i may or may not change my name to his for my own reasons (yes a lot to do with i feel that%26#039;s his %26quot;family%26#039;s%26quot; name and i neither like or respect them) you clearly don%26#039;t have it that bad with her but if you keep reading into things then you will and trust me its no fun!
why should she have you in her bridal party just because you are close to your brother? the bridal party is HER family/friends not his and he has the grooms men that is his choices and nothing to do with the bride.
maybe she felt shy to include you guys more because clearly if i can feel the hostility reading this then you can bet she feels it.
just stay out of their lives it has nothing to do with you and it definitely does NOT mean she loves him less at all. lots of people don%26#039;t change their names.
seriously you sound like your family is traveling down a path that will push her further and further away and when she hates you and you hate her things WILL get ugly and he WILL choose her over you guys, my fiancee and his sister were close but when he met me she got jealous and was very rude and tried to push me away well guess what we don%26#039;t even speak to her anymore (his choice from how much of a ***** she was) and the same will happen to you, because he will see that there%26#039;s 1 of her and all you guys ganging up on her and its not fair.
good luck and be wise, mind your own business
this sounds like none of your business because it IS none of your business, no matter how you try to justify your meddling. this is their marriage and if she wants to keep her own name you have no right to judge her or doubt her commitment to your brother.
Maybe she wasn%26#039;t going to change her name from the start. It is in no way a reflection on her commitment in the relationship. Your brother and her have probably discussed it and it was settled. It is none of your business anyways. She%26#039;s probably a private person and you seem to insert yourself into other peoples affairs.
We got married the end of September and I got my name changed in December. In my opinion, 2 years is a really long time. But some women keep their last name forever. Maybe that%26#039;s what she wants to do.
You%26#039;re right, this is not your business and you need to stay out of it. There may be personal reasons why SIL wants to keep her name (I%26#039;m thinking about keeping mine - and not because I don%26#039;t love my man or feel committed to marriage). It%26#039;s becoming much more common for women to keep their maiden names and it%26#039;s a personal decision. If it bothers your brother, well, he%26#039;s a grown-up and can talk to his own wife about it. Neither of them will appreciate you getting in the middle.
As far as the other stuff goes, that was TWO YEARS ago. Let it go. Maybe if you were less resentful, she would feel more like a part of your family.
She isn%26#039;t required to change her name, you know. Many women don%26#039;t. Sometimes the couple make up a new last name that uses parts of their original last names. Sometimes the man takes the woman%26#039;s last name or they may hyphenate their two names.
Life causes pain and I wonder what good it does for your family to hold onto this stuff and make it public. You nor anyone else can live his life...
Are you certain that it was her intention to change it in the first place? Maybe she is one of those women who want to keep their last name? Just a thought.
I got married in September. I legally changed my name within a month (ss card, driver%26#039;s license, car registration, etc.). But I still have a few more small things to change (credit cards, electric bill, that sort of thing). The important stuff is changed though.
Your question doesn%26#039;t really have to do with the name change, does it? You are afraid that your sister%26#039;s behavior means that she doesn%26#039;t really love your brother. And we can%26#039;t answer that, really. Sounds like she hasn%26#039;t been entirely outgoing with regarding the wedding, but some folks are introverted. And with regards to the wedding party there is nothing saying that you have to include your fiance%26#039;s family in it. I feel that you should choose friends/family who have seen you through your life and have brought you to that next chapter in your life-which might not be the family you are marrying into (not yet, anyways). It appears that the emotions are very high, and it might be best to truly let it go, and let the cards fall as they will. Because, as you said-it%26#039;s between the husband and wife.
Maybe she won%26#039;t ever change it. She doesn%26#039;t have to. Some folks just don%26#039;t.
I did, but it took about a month to get everything completely changed over (and the name change process is pretty tiresome, depending on how much you have established already in your maiden name).
I never changed my last name, and I have no intention of changing it. I have been married for 10 years now, and I love my husband dearly, but I never thought it was necessary to change my name. My mother never took my father%26#039;s last name, and they have been married for 36 years.
If you have already been published in academic journals, changing your last name is very close to a career suicide, so there are many valid reasons to keep one%26#039;s maiden name.
It seems like it%26#039;s not the name change that%26#039;s the issue in your case-it%26#039;s the way she communicates with your family. If your brother is happy, let it go.
If he has problems with her keeping her name and not communicating with the family, he%26#039;s the one who has to bring it up, not you.
I didn%26#039;t change my name at all, my husband took my name. His family did nothing but judge me (different religion) and tell me how wrong I was and talk behind my back. I am fully committed to my husband and marriage but wanted no part of his family
